Dearest Hoodin:
I’m really proud of you for saving all your change for your tattoo. Good on ya. That coffee tin was a great idea. Putting it on the floor was also a great idea, because now that it weighs 13lbs, if it fell off a shelf, it could break something. Also, kudos on hiding it under your t-shirt so that no one, not even you, would know all that money was there as you entered or left your room. Nothing here but a pile of old clothes!
However, we have just one request: could you maybe relocate it to a corner of your room instead of the middle of the floor?
Sincerely,
The big toe that you smashed and the wrist that you banged into the closet door trying to keep yourself from tripping.
Ps: your bad knee isn’t very fucking impressed either, you irresponsible jackass.
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